Debra T interview11.18.20 - 2020-11-25, 11.15 AM.mp3

Debra T interview11.18.20 - 2020-11-25, 11.15 AM.mp3: Audio automatically transcribed by Sonix

Debra T interview11.18.20 - 2020-11-25, 11.15 AM.mp3: this mp3 audio file was automatically transcribed by Sonix with the best speech-to-text algorithms. This transcript may contain errors.

intro music:
Welcome to Grieve with Ease, a podcast where we talk about the many sides of loss and death on each episode, you'll hear from a cross-section of men and women who share how they dealt with loss, found comfort and even humor during what many consider a very dark time. The show is designed to bring comfort, to answer questions and let you know you are not alone. Now, here's your host, Martika Whylly.

Martika Whylly:
Debra Taubenslag is an author and healer who facilitates transformational change by awakening clients to their highest potential and specializes in recapturing balance, joy and creativity by reawakening the spiritual self in order to live a meaningful and purposeful life. Welcome, Debra.

Martika Whylly:
Thank you for joining me on the Grieve with Ease. So, Deb, Deborah, what brings you here? Sorry.

Debra Taubenslag:
You know, I did I did grieve with these. I truly did. You know, I had the most special relationship with my parents. They were truly the notebook, if you've seen that movie, that their love was tremendous. And I was very fortunate to be a part of that family unit and a metaphysical belief in the afterlife. And I've read so many books about the near-death experience, as well as practicing mediumship and going to different mediums and psychics through the years. And my knowledge helped me help them. I was much more open minded than they were. But when my father was the first one to pass, he had a clear mind. But he was going through dialysis and he had congestive heart failure. And I looked at that as a gift of time and opportunity to be with him in those beautiful moments where we were able to actually share not only what we meant to each other, but to have discussions about death and what it's like to cross over and the experience of the afterlife. My dad was a little hesitant at first because, you know, he's male and also, you know, it's a little out of his comfort zone. But because he was so close to death and it was so hard to discuss the dying process and the fear that comes with it, he was actually very grateful to have this discussion with me.

Debra Taubenslag:
And I told him point blank, I said, Dad, I said, it'll be very freeing for you. I explained to him what others saw, where they they actually, like, leave their body to have like a near-death experience in a way. And they they travel to the light and perhaps maybe they see colors and beautiful sounds that they've never heard of and and even colors that they that there are no words to describe the colors, the beauty of it. And when they get to where they need to go, they'll be greeted by loved ones. Maybe, you know, I told them, I said, maybe it'll be your mother or your father. And but there'll be a big celebration, a big family reunion for you, dad. And then after you finish having a really jolly good time with them and feeling all this tremendous love, then a very special guide is going to come to you and say, come on, Elliot, let's let's do a life review and you'll look over what it did really well in your mission and what you wanted to accomplish, as well as some challenges that in lessons, life lessons that maybe you did really good and maybe you still need to learn.

Debra Taubenslag:
It's a self-evaluation and it's a wonderful thing. And I also told him that he will be a thousand times busier in the afterlife because he'll be free from the the constrictive, painful body he was currently in to be able to do and influence us even more and others to truly be an inspiration. So he was really grateful that I had that conversation with him and he was able to say goodbye to me. I remember both my my brother and I have a twin brother. We were sleeping on the floor and I think he waited until we were asleep. And then and then he crossed over. And I remember him telling me I see spotlights, two spotlights. My dad was very theatrical. My dad was a playwright. He was also a teacher in the drama club and he had a professional children's theater in New York City. So those two spotlights, I believe, were his parents and I know that he just waited. I know that they came to him and they said, come on, they're sleeping, let's go. I know because he's confirm that with me at a mediumship reading I had three months after he passed.

Martika Whylly:
It's funny how they'd like to wait till you're out of the room or not conscious of them going before they go. I've heard several stories of that where people go to the cafeteria. And then when they come back, they're their loved one has passed and they kind of feel guilty for not being there when when the last breath was taken. But it's done on purpose.

Debra Taubenslag:
It is.

Martika Whylly:
Yeah.

Debra Taubenslag:
It is. And you think about it. Have you had any pets, a cat or dog, where they they kind of want to just go off to be by themselves.

Martika Whylly:
Yeah. With night peacefully passed peacefully yet. And it's well with my with, with my experience with my cat. See I didn't want her to go and. Ok, I wasn't sure if you're still there because you look like you're frozen there. Are you still with me?

Debra Taubenslag:
Yeah, I know I can hear you. I am OK. Yeah, I can hear you.

Martika Whylly:
Yeah, but with my cat Tasha, she I told her that I would help her to go because there were days when she was having a hard time breathing. I was like, OK, maybe I need to take you to the vet and just kind of put her out of her misery. And then the next day she would be fine to be breathing fine, to be very perky for her age. And then for two days she'd be like that. And then again to be having hard time breathing. And we made an agreement that I would help her out of I'd help her cross over.

Martika Whylly:
So I never help the person cross over. But it's the first time I helped my pet cross over. And I'm grateful to be there to help her cross over. But it was terrible to watch her go. Yeah.

Debra Taubenslag:
And it was probably hard for her to not physically hard, but emotionally hard because she's so attached and bonded to you. I mean, that love will love never dies does.

Martika Whylly:
No, no, it doesn't. It doesn't. She's with me. She's still with me.

Debra Taubenslag:
That's right. And have you had visitations have you had signs from her?

Martika Whylly:
Well, it's interesting you should say that. When she was dying, I'd hold her in my arms. She's the only cat that lets me do that. The others don't. I said to her, You cannot leave me. You got your cat of nine lives, use one of your nine lives. And she looked at me and she said, I'll be back. That's the only time I ever heard her say anything, and I kind of like, what do you mean you're going to be back? You're talking crazy talk, even even animals, when they're old can be senile, I think. And so I kind of ignored that comment. But she died in April 2018. I got a kitten. August 2018. Same same type of cat a tabby. And but I noticed this kitten was displaying personality traits that Tasha my previous cat had. And I thought maybe I dismissed it. Maybe it's just a tabby trait. But more and more I'm like, yeah, I think this might be Tasha reincarnated.

Debra Taubenslag:
Yes. And it's a it's a wonderful. Yeah, because when you feel that love connection, it's a soul to soul connection and then you just know what you know. It's a wonderful, wonderful feeling.

Martika Whylly:
And it is it's weird too, because this is not taught in school. You know, it's not like a common thing that you hear about. And so for me to experience it and I was very shy at first talking about it with people and I thought, you know, if they don't believe me, that's fine. If they don't, it doesn't matter. I know what I'm experiencing in it. Why would I make something like that up anyhow? But it's amazing how animals can reincarnate to. They never thought they could.But yeah.

Debra Taubenslag:
Souls travel over and over many times because it's a love connection, a soul love connection. And then other times it's because we have lessons to learn, which produces a karmic connection. And that's OK too. It's all experience, but animals, they do come. That's a soul connection to they travel with us because. Because they can. That's at least my belief system. I love that.

Martika Whylly:
Yeah. I love animals. So can you tell us more, Deborah, what you do, what you do as far as for a living like to?

Debra Taubenslag:
Well, I'm retired now and I retired when my parents became very elderly and they needed that care. And, you know, this show is about Grieve with ease and I had tremendous comfort. I'm a don't get me wrong, I had tremendous sadness to little things like triggers which bring me to tears. But like the cat, I found that I, I needed to console myself in silence and I gave myself permission to cry. And it was always by myself and I would cry when I would hear a song or if I would pass the picture. Now, this is a really funny story. Let me share this with you. There's a fabulous psychic medium and his name is Thomas John, and he is the seatbelt psychic seatbelt psychic on Lifetime. It was one season, but you can access it on lifetime on demand. So I watched it. Oh, maybe the entire season, three times, and my poor husband watch it with me, and he actually enjoyed it, too. So anyway, I decided to take one of his classes and it was a Zoom class and there were hundreds of people from around the world. And right now it says, Deb Taubenslag.

Debra Taubenslag:
But, you know, at the time, it just said Debbie on it. And I was getting ready for this Zoom class. And I passed my mother's picture and maybe it was about four or five months after she passed. This was August 2019 when she passed and I just started sobbing and I said, oh, this class is going to be starting any minute that I need control.

Debra Taubenslag:
And then I said, Mom, if there's any way possible that you could push through the spirits and come speak to me, oh, I would just love that. Even though I knew because I've taken other classes with him before, you know, it wasn't a whole time of it was a class. It was not as if it was he was doing tons of readings. And then I said, no, it's not your style.

Debra Taubenslag:
It's not the way you are. You're quiet, you're reserved, and you would never be pushing. And I said, But Dad is as good a dad can push his way through the spirits. Oh, I'd be so grateful. And then again, I said, Oh, no, no, I know that's that's rude. And it's not going to happen. I just. No, don't. No. Well, the class and it was an hour class and five minutes before the class ended, he said, Debbie, I have a message for you now. There's hundreds of people.

Debra Taubenslag:
And I said, oh, we can't be talking about me and he goes, yeah, I just unmuted you. I am. And I'm like, oh, I was so excited. He says, your mother and father are here and she's insisting that your father pushed his way to have her speak. And I was like, oh my gosh, I was so excited I couldn't believe it. The gift that they gave me. And he proceeded to confirm that it was them with all of their careers, their names, even naming my uncle, my mother's brother.

Debra Taubenslag:
I mean, I was floored and I was so happy. And it was it was so comforting to know that she was with me in that moment, that where I was really feeling her loss actually was my loss, because I don't think that they feel loss. I feel that they're very free and they're very happy and they're very influential because they have peripheral vision to be guides and angels and also very purposeful in their own continual spiritual growth as well.

Debra Taubenslag:
But it was so comforting to know that she was with me at that moment and then to be able to really manifest, to prove to me that it was real. That was profound. And I loved it.

Martika Whylly:
Yeah, you know, and, you know, I find that when you do talk to them. And it could be mentally or out loud, they can hear, they hear, and I think it looks like that where, mom, I need help with something or I'm looking for a receipt. It's small things, but she she will come once in a while. I see her in dreams. And that always makes me feel so comforted, so relieved. She's OK. She's with me. That explains some stuff that happens that is unexplainable. It's like, oh, that might have been my mom that did that because I'm pretty sure I left the door open when I came back was closed or the window opened. It was closed and no one else was here, you know, there that little the little angels helping us out. So and of course, the more open minded you are, the more they will help you. Because I have friends that that have lost parents that. Have you seen your father in your dream? I said a friend. And he'd be like, no, I don't I'm not open to that. That would freak me out. And so some people, they just closed off. And of course, they sense that. And so they respect that. They respect our will.

Debra Taubenslag:
I couldn't agree more. You know, my I always pray to my mother-inlaw, please, please come to my husband and he always tells me that as much as he misses her, he would be scared to death and he doesn't want it. So. And they respect that. That's right. So I think of it if you people say the veil when they cross the veil, well, that veil could be, in his case, a very hard wall that he's put up. You know, that they can't penetrate through where I am. I'm like a flimsy little curtain or a window wide open.

Debra Taubenslag:
So and the signs, it's not just in dreams. There's so many signs. Sometimes they're subtle. A lot of people will believe in red cardinals, you know, as a sign. But at other times, it could be a license plate. It could be a song that's confirming something. It could be a complete stranger that says something out of the blue that you just needed to hear at that moment. It is truly amazing.

Martika Whylly:
Oh, yes. Well, I wanted to hear about your grieving process. You said that you've grieved with ease and and have been challenged. Not everybody believes that you can grieve with ease. How how was it for you? What helped you grieve with ease?

Debra Taubenslag:
Well, my belief in the afterlife for sure, and being able to not only feel physically the presence of them, I feel my father on my right side, my mother on my left side. Did you ever get, like, the goosebumps or what I call, like, harp strings, like, you know, like that little cold chill, you know? And I believe that that's that's a way, of course, with, like, lights flickering and things like that.

Debra Taubenslag:
But I'm that's what's helped me so, so very much. I'm going to a particular medium local. I went his name is Jack Keller and was three months after my father passed. And he was so, so accurate saying things that only my father would say, including his whistle and the tune he would whistle. And my father thanked me for helping him cross over. And he said, "it's not that I didn't believe I had doubt. And now I know it's true." It's true. We do survive. We do continue on and we're alive and well.

Martika Whylly:
Yeah. We're spiritual beings having a human experience. We're energy. We can't kill energy, which is so nice to know we're all immortal. We're immortal.

Debra Taubenslag:
Yeah.

Martika Whylly:
Yeah. So. Yeah, I totally get that, I've experienced that. That where we are immortal.

Debra Taubenslag:
Yeah, you know, I think the hard part, what you're talking about is the physical absence, the void, and that part is tough. So, you know, I would allow myself to feel those feelings, but instead of feeling, I would say, OK, I would allow it to just bubble up as if it was a coffee pot percolating and it was like, you know, and I would cry. And then I would say, OK, I'm clear. Now let's let's have a conversation like we used to. So I would actually dialogue with either my dad and my mom, whoever I needed in the moment, to just feel their presence. And then I would actually feel their presence.

Debra Taubenslag:
And it's very different, and sometimes, like when I was really missing my grandfather, I would smell his pipe. Or I would smell my father's cologne or I would hear his laugh. You know, it's interesting when we open up our six sense, everybody has it, you know, but lots of people think, oh, it's just common sense or it's our imagination, but imagination is inspired information. And we when we allow ourselves that ability to receive such a gift, we give ourselves, it's such a blessing, especially when you get confirmation and it's just a knowing.

Debra Taubenslag:
It's like love, you know, how do you know your love? What you just know you don't know how you know, but you just know because you could feel it on such a such a level and that.

Martika Whylly:
Yes, yes, and that's what the sixth sense, isn't it? It's the knowing, isn't it, or is of a feeling or a combination of both.

Debra Taubenslag:
I think it's a combination. You know, my father has left me such tremendous, crazy, obvious signs. I mean, it's my dad was like Jackie Gleason, you to know if you remember Jackie Gleason, but larger than life. And I remember I was driving home on the Garden State Parkway from Wildwood and I was halfway up the parkway heading towards where I live. And it was hard because it was so early in the morning and there was hardly any cars on the road. And trucks are not allowed on the Garden State Parkway. And I see this big truck in my rearview mirror and it's getting closer and closer, closer.

Debra Taubenslag:
And I'm copping an attitude like, oh, you know, these trucks aren't allowed on the parkway and it gets so close to my back bumper. And I'm like, oh, and it passes me on my right side. And I look at the driver on my right because I want to see who has the nerve to do this to me. And I didn't see the driver because all I could see on this truck on the side was Elliott E l l i o t t and in a big sparkle on the top of the last T and I was like, oh, I was like in shock.

Debra Taubenslag:
And then because right before I saw the truck, I was thinking, oh, my mom, I don't know if I could go through another void. I was really thinking about the loss with him and I knew that she was just around the corner because, I mean, you know, we know when they're about ready to go. And that's when I saw this truck and I realized, oh, my goodness. And then I heard what was playing was calling all angels.

Debra Taubenslag:
And I was like, oh, and that's I just sobbed and sobbed and sobbed. And then I laughed because he said, Oh, my God, Dad, you're still directing. I mean, amazing how he was able to direct, you know, the all that synchronistic events, that truck and the timing of my thoughts and with the with the music of calling all angels, I was amazed how powerful that was. And my dad had shown me so many physical out of the box signs like that where my mom is completely the opposite. Much, much more subtle. Well, she'll come to a girlfriend and my girlfriend will have a dream and she'll say, Debbie, because I had the craziest dream about your mom and she was just wearing this big M necklace. And I laughed at her and I said, yeah, I have a picture of her like that.

Debra Taubenslag:
And it's a big gigantic M because her name is Myrna and it's and I have that necklace on her picture right now in my bedroom. And I had to take a picture to show her that it was a very real dream and a very real visitation. It's the signs that's that's what helps me grieve with ease.

Martika Whylly:
It's interesting that your mom would go to your friend. Yeah, yeah, yeah, because I go ahead, you know, because I mean, I haven't had somebody else's mom come to me and they said, Oh, I don't recall.

Martika Whylly:
It's been it's been a while since I've had those kind of dreams. But my mom has showed up. My father, It's different. He's been there in spirit. He's talked to me. I can hear him in my ear telling me what to do or not to do. But my mom has been and she'll come in my dreams. But if I call them, I think they both know that I'm OK because my father was right. Shortly after he died. He was very much with us and not just with me, but with my other siblings and other family members. They would give very, very detailed dreams of him literally telling somebody, hey, you need to do something with your life, do something with your life. One of my family members had told me this and she was like, no, no, no, you're dead. You're dead. And I'm like, no, he's not dead. And I got really upset with her. When she told me that, I said, he's trying to help you. How you should be grateful that you're still seeing him after he passed, because not everybody has that they want to see them.

Martika Whylly:
They really want to make sure that they're OK. I'm just wondering and worrying sometimes. But he was very active. My father, he came to my sister, told her it was OK, you know, because he was wearing a white suit, sitting beside her on the bed, rubbing her shoulder. It's going to be OK because she used to worry quite a bit. She's not like that anymore. I think she's finally realized that know, go with the flow, have faith, everything's going to work out and guess what? It has. But I think it's just so fascinating because that's what helps me with the grieving process. Of course, the beginning is always the hardest because you go through the denial, especially if it's a sudden death, you're not expecting it. One minute you're talking to them and the next day they're gone. What? And so and then the anger and all the rest of it. But what you kind of get past those two big hunks, I think the denial and anger for me were always the biggest ones. It's a lot of talking to spirit.

Debra Taubenslag:
You know, you're absolutely right, because I was I had that window of opportunity and, you know, and you didn't not when it's sudden, not when there's no warning, you know, because all of a sudden it's a shock to your system. And I can only imagine how difficult that must be. And for other people and parents and who have suffered tremendous grief when they lose someone so quite unexpectedly. And you're right, there has to be anger. Why did you leave me anger at God?

Martika Whylly:
Oh, yeah, big time.

Debra Taubenslag:
Oh, yeah. And denial. This can't be happening because it's a it's a coping mechanism. And I understand those stages. It makes sense to me on an intellectual and psychological level. And I think that's what our faith has to come in.

Martika Whylly:
Yeah. And this is where I want to help people the most, because I know the first few stages, the first two or three stages can be the hardest. Oh, I can't see. You can't see. Now after my cat and I talk about my cat Tasha, because she was the last death that I've had. I wanted to crawl in the bed, never come out, it was really bad, it was a lot worse than I thought and I was prepared for her death. I knew she was dying. She was an elderly cat, elderly cat. She was displaying some of the senior moments that, you know, people have when they're seniors. And that voice said, go over to Lisa's. Now, Lisa's a friend and neighbor. And I just went over to her place that I wasn't invited. I just popped over. And I believe if I hadn't done that, I would have been worse off. I would've been worse off because I needed to shake that. I just wanted to crawl in a hole and die, you know, and we forget that we still have other people in our lives that love us and support us and want us to live. So it's great when somebody just you need to have that connection with people you need to be. And you don't always have to be talking about it just being there. Like when I went over to my friend Lisa, she asked "what's going on?" I said "it's the worst day in my life." And she's like, well, what happened? I said, Tasha just died. And I just burst into tears. She gave me a hug. And then I calmed down because I didn't want to bring the energy in the place down because of my sadness. But I just stayed with them. We hung out in the backyard. It was spring time. And I went home after that. And I was grateful. I did feel better. It felt better. But then again, it was it was sad. It's really sad and beginning to lose somebody.

Debra Taubenslag:
Oh, it's tremendously sad. But I think that Tasha told you to go to this particular friend because this particular friend would just allow you to just be she can't fix it. What she can do is just create the space for you to look like a warm blanket on a cold day and that was probably what helped to just help you feel better. Oh, yeah,

Martika Whylly:
And it and it did. It did. It did make me feel better. A lot better. It got easier after that. But the first couple of days are pretty hard now.

Debra Taubenslag:
That's right. That's right. Know. And that's why when you see these parents that lose children. Yeah. The ones who actually, heal, grieve with the ease, there are the ones that probably become very purposeful. And and start organizations or become a mission of some sort. So to help other parents. So, yeah, you know what I'm talking about.

Martika Whylly:
I've yeah, I've come across quite a few people that got into this industry because they've lost somebody. And it was such a traumatic experience for them that they feel that they need to help others, because I couldn't imagine going through a loss of somebody really close, whether it's a person or a pet, and not have that support.

Debra Taubenslag:
That's right.

Martika Whylly:
You know, because and I do well, I do see some people get a get on with it. They still grieve, but not as intensely. And they know that their loved ones are still there. And there are others that are not ready to let go. They're they're still in the resentful stages, you know, even when their loved one comes to visit and they let it go and we don't want they don't want to let it go. So it's an individual thing, even though sometimes our loved ones come back to help us. And again, it's individual.

Debra Taubenslag:
It's it probably boils down to fear, you know, because if I let you go, then then I'm losing my memory of you. You know, and sometimes you know what, sometimes it's really hard to even like, visualize or hear, know your loved ones voice, you know, if you didn't have a recording or if you didn't say, you know, a message on your cell phone or something like that and then you hate yourself and blame yourself or, you know, why didn't I save it? Why did I dismiss it? Because there's something about their voice that keeps them nearer to us. But it's you and I are very, very fortunate because we know we know that our loved ones are only a thought away. And that's why we can still continue the relationship. And I believe when we're grieving really, really hard, that it kind of traps our loved ones sometimes to us in the astral plane. I'm getting very esoteric here, but, you know, just like our loved ones want us to continue living because life is for the living. Well, you know, we should have the same respect for them if we can. I know it's easier said than done when our emotions are involved, but you don't want them to be stuck and trapped. You know, we want them to be able to free to be able to move and continue on with their spiritual growth and their studies, because the human experience and loss, it's part of a spiritual growing pain versus a spiritual lesson about how we move forward and evolve. Now, Edgar Casey, one of the greatest Prophets are scribes or psychics that have ever lived, and particularly in our last century, he said that the only way to heaven is on the arms of someone you helped. We don't go to heaven. We grow to heaven.

Debra Taubenslag:
And I thought that was extremely powerful because, you know, growing means experiencing life and its fullest extent. And you know how else? I mean, like, if you look at all the greatest master teachers who have walked this earth plane, whether it was Jesus or whether it was Gandhi or whether it was Buddha, you know, Kwan Yen, and they all went through some type of growing pain, suffering to be able to just expand and move forward and to help others, you know. So, yeah, you know, they all proved an example. You know, if life was too easy, then there would be no growth.

Martika Whylly:
Yeah. And that would be boring, wouldn't it?

Debra Taubenslag:
Well, you know, if I could share another story with you earlier, you asked, you know what I do for decades I was a spiritual hypnotherapist and I still am. And my son, who was special ease, special needs, was special ease because now his life has become so much easier.

Debra Taubenslag:
It's funny, but I would hypnotize him all the time and I and hypnosis were in hypnosis throughout the day. Every time we're driving and we miss our turn, we're like, you know, we're in a highway hypnosis state. We're in an alpha state because we're too busy fantasizing and daydreaming.

Debra Taubenslag:
So when I would put him into this self hypnotic state, because really that's what hypnosis is, it's really self hypnosis, I would you say go where you need to go, wherever that may be for your highest good. And one time he went into the life between lives state, you know, where, of course, our loved ones are. And but he went into a body selection room and the first body he saw and this was a period before he incarnated and became my son and he said this body is too challenging, has too many issues and challenges that I don't think I'm strong enough. And then he saw a female and he says, no, I need to be male in this life. Then he saw another male who was really had no challenges per say. And, you know, life was really easy. And he said that body was not challenging enough, not for his soul growth, not for the life lessons he needed to learn. And then he saw the body that he now has. And he said, this is the one. It provides just enough life lessons for me so I can feel that I have the confidence and the courage to do what I need to do.

Debra Taubenslag:
And, yeah, it has, you know, the the wonderful essence, you know, that I can that I can complete. It was perfect balance for him and that's what he chose.

Debra Taubenslag:
And it was that day that was a miracle for us because prior to this, he wasn't accepting himself. He used to say, I hate myself, I hate my brain, I hate my mind because it was very premature, very early. And he had a lot of inflections at birth. The prognosis, they told me that if he survived, he would never walk because of the cerebral palsy and he would have severe cognitive issues.

Debra Taubenslag:
So I could not accept that at all. And that's what made me go into all of this is a metaphysical learning of course. We use traditional medicine, but also different medicine from all different cultures and centuries and all different belief systems. So out of the box and this is how I realized that there is so much more that we don't know about it.

Debra Taubenslag:
And I'm just touching the tip of the iceberg. And my son has really, really manifested so beautifully. You know, he's beaten so many odds and I'm so grateful. And my parents on the other side are still helping him because he gets signs all the time as well.

Debra Taubenslag:
So that's it's just such an because it was really hard for him to because they were his best friends.

Martika Whylly:
Yes, well, now it's just death just changes the relationship, doesn't it? It just they're not in the physical. They're in the spiritual. So we have to kind of keep in mind, even though we cannot see them, they're they're just like our spirit guides, angels, whatever you want to call them. And so for me, this is why I love when my mom shows up in my dreams, because the last time I seen her was maybe over a year ago, maybe two years now. And I was so excited the next morning when I woke up to see her in my dream and in the dream, she was just sitting in the living room. I walked in the living room. She was sitting there very, very back, straight up and and I'm like, Oh, you're here.

Martika Whylly:
It's like, yeah, I've been here the whole time. You're just noticing. And I'm like. Oh, my God, I'm so sorry I didn't notice you. I felt silly in the dream that I didn't notice her and we just smiled at each other and the dream ended. I woke up. I was in the best mood all day. And, yeah, I was in the best mood. And and now sometimes, let's say there's an evening and it just kind of by myself and and I might feel, oh, be nice. This covid thing was over. I could have some company and then like, wait a minute, I do my mom's here, my mom's here with me, like, I know she's here. She doesn't send us signs as she used to with the flickering of the lights. There was the lights that she used to do. And I can't remember what else she used to do. But but I just know that she's with and I guess if I really needed the sign, I could always ask for one.

Debra Taubenslag:
Exactly. And maybe they're not as strong and as visual and as current because you're easing and becoming stronger and stronger and then going on with your life. Absolutely. But yet, you know, it's like picking up the psychic phone. You know, you're you're able to talk to her at any time.

Martika Whylly:
Yes.

Debra Taubenslag:
Like even even if you close your eyes right now and you take a deep breath and. And another deep breath then. And you choose a picture of a loved one you want to talk with right now. If you choose that picture in your mind's eyes. We can to talk to them. Telepathically receive an answer.

Debra Taubenslag:
So now you're using a little bit of your clairvoyance. You know, a little bit of your clairaudience, because that's what you hear and dialoguing, having a conversation. And if you want it to make it even a little bit more real to you. Ask this loved one to come stand in front of you. See if you could feel a subtle feeling their presence.

Debra Taubenslag:
Maybe you'll feel a tingling, or a warmth, or the Goosebumps. Now, have your loved one stand behind you. And ask them to put their hands on your shoulders. Maybe you have a sense. That their hands are on your shoulders. Ask them to move to the right of you. And to whisper in your ear. Very important message.

Martika Whylly:
And. Yeah, yeah, that's nice, I will I will try that when I'm when I'm not on this one, but I when I'm in a meditative state, yes, I will do that. I don't know how it works. I know it does work because I have done something very similar. I'm sorry.

Debra Taubenslag:
I do I do that all the time when I'm feeling yucky, whether I'm feeling physically yucky and I want I want my mom, you know, or whether I just need maybe guidance from my dad.

Martika Whylly:
Yep. I've one time I was feeling very yucky and I just pray to Archangel Michael and I imagine hugging this angel, and it was pretty cool because not only did he have arms, but he had wings. He had both. He had wings and arms. I could feel his arms wrapped around me and then wings on top of that.

Debra Taubenslag:
Oh, yeah.

Martika Whylly:
Yeah. And it was it lasted only a moment. That's all you need. And you know what? I felt better after that.

Debra Taubenslag:
Oh, yes.

Martika Whylly:
And I was bragging to myself, I guess what I hugged an angel.

Debra Taubenslag:
And the angel hugged you back. You felt better because you were. Envelopes or whatever the word is, you were embraced, embraced, yeah, by an angel and a protective angel. So it was interesting that you chose Archangel Michael because at that moment you felt you needed protection, because when you think about, you know, there's an abundance of angels around you.

Martika Whylly:
Oh, yes.

Debra Taubenslag:
And and different angels do different things whenever we end. There's so happy to help us, you know. But you're right. We have to ask.

Martika Whylly:
Because then. Yeah, again, it's the will. It's about will. Somebody's will, you don't want to go against everyone's will, and I've been told that before, why won't you know my mom help or why won't this one guide me in this area? Well, again, that's will, so I've purposely and very consciously said to either parents, my mom, I know my mom's with me more than my father and my father's doing other work. But I'll say to my mom, please let me know if this is the right choice. I'm asking for your guidance, not for you to tell me what to do. I just need guidance. I'm not sure which way to go. And I will get it. I will get it.

Debra Taubenslag:
Yes. Yes. So let me ask you this. There's a lot of people now who are suffering because of the covid, you know, like I have a wonderful friend who is a supervisor of nurses and in our state, they're going back to, you know, not allowing visitors to come to the loved ones who were seriously ill and because of the second wave of covid. So what advice do you give them, the ones where you can't be with your loved ones right now during this horrific time where the loved ones are passing on their own? And yet and you have to deal with your grief on your own where you can't be by their side as how fortunate we were. So what did you give to them?

Martika Whylly:
Well, I guess the best advice I could give to them is the thought of prayer. Where their loved ones are praying to the angels, praying to whoever you feel comfortable praying to, for them to be around your loved ones so they do not feel alone, that they feel the love if they're transitioning to the next, onto the other side, but I do strongly believe in the power of prayer.

Debra Taubenslag:
Yes.

Martika Whylly:
Because I have prayed, you know, we've all prayed. We're always praying whether we realize it or not. But I really do believe in the power of prayer when you're praying for somebody to transition or if they're in a lot of pain just to help, just pray to the angels to help ease that pain. Because angels could do they could do those things. They could take away the pain. That's how amazing these luminescent beings are. I've had experiences where I've seen a lot of pain and my pain was taken away and I didn't do anything. I didn't take anything. And like who was there? This was I was very young when this happened. And so I know the power of prayer and another how powerful angels can be. But that's the advice that I would give, would be to tell them it's OK. Easier said than done. Feeling that it's OK. But prayer. I would pray for the loved ones that are in the hospital that day.

Debra Taubenslag:
And you know what? You were talking I heard somebody telling me and I don't know who it was and that's OK. But I was hearing that our hearing is the last sense to leave. And if there was so some way that you could leave messages of love on your phone and send it to the nursing station and have them play it to the loved one.

Debra Taubenslag:
Yeah, you know, that's that was what I was receiving and it was on this side, so perhaps it was my dad. Oh, so I guess it's not what I never thought about that before, but but it's true because he was the one who told me and my mom, too, because she was completely out of it in a coma state, you know, from the Alzheimer's. She starved to death. But she told me she heard every word from myself and my brothers and my son.

Martika Whylly:
Interesting.Yeah.

Debra Taubenslag:
Yeah. So that confirmed confirms that.

Martika Whylly:
Oh, yes. Well, thank you so much, Debra, is there anything else that you wanted to add, I didn't get any particulars from you as far as where we could reach you for if anybody wanted to have a hypnotherapy session.

Debra Taubenslag:
They could reach me. And I don't have an easy website name like you do, but I'm working on it because it's just w w w Debra Taubenslag and it is phonetic Tao tao you bend b e and slag s l a g dot com and they can you know, I'll be able to help whoever needs help because I yeah. I've been so fortunate in my life where people have given so much guidance and help to me. I like to pay it forward as well.

Martika Whylly:
That's great.

Debra Taubenslag:
Yeah.

Martika Whylly:
Well this has been this is great. Thank you so much for being here and taking the time to sharing your experience and your expertise.

Debra Taubenslag:
Oh, it's my pleasure.

Martika Whylly:
And I hope people take away from your story and ask their angels for us to talk directly to their loved one so that they know that they're OK and they can continue on with the little more ease.

Debra Taubenslag:
And if they need that, you know that more of that physical proof. There's so many good, good mediums out there. You know, they could send me a message. They can look me up on Facebook or send me a message on my website and I can recommend many good mediums. I won't recommend anyone I haven't personally experienced.

Martika Whylly:
That's good, right? Well, thank you so much, Deborah.

Debra Taubenslag:
Oh, my pleasure. This is a gift that you give to so many people. And I'm very fortunate that I have met you.

Martika Whylly:
Thank you.

Debra Taubenslag:
You bet.

outro music:
You've been listening to the Grieve with Ease podcast with your host, Martika Whylly, we hope you found comfort with what you heard. Be sure to leave a rating and review of the Grieve with ease podcast show and visit our website at Grieve with ease dotcom.

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